Today we’re going to talk all about the role of the partner from pregnancy to motherhood. This is a great topic, one that’s not often discussed but needs to be.
I’m hoping these five tips will help you and your partner with you pregnancy to parenthood journey.
Tip 1 – Get your Partner involved in the Planning Process from Pregnancy to Motherhood
The first tip I want to share with you on this topic is to make sure you get your partner involved in the complete planning process.
They need to be involved in the planning process from pregnancy all the way through to motherhood.
The pregnancy plan, the birth plan and the postpartum plan are all essential.
The conversations and the plans that you need to make in regard to each of those need to involve your partner, they have to feel included.
Your partner has to feel apart of the team alongside you, as you both worked together to bring this baby into the world.
So the first tip I have for you is to get your partner involved, let them help with the planning process, and the more they understand the better.
Having your partner apart of the planning process, the easier it will be when the time comes for them to support you.
Tip 2 – Set Expectations and give them Notice of what their Role may Entail
The second tip I wanted to talk about is to set expectations.
Setting expectations is key for the mother and for the partner.
Setting expectations with your partner is giving them upfront notice, giving them notice that you will require their support
You are giving them notice on what can be expected of them through-out pregnancy, in the birth and when you venture into motherhood.
Setting expectations should be part of the planning process.
When we talk about pregnancy, we need to talk about the expectations of the partner, identifying activates they can support you with.
What is it that they can do to support you as part of that process?
There are many things the mother MUST do such as breastfeeding.
But there are also so many things that the partner can do to ease the load.
So the second tip is to give your partner notice. Warning them and gives them time to digest what is required of them.
This will prepare them for when the time comes around they are mentally ready to pitch in.
It’s so much easier to do things when you know that they may be coming up, or that you expect it to happen.
It’s very hard to get instant support from someone when you throw them into the deep end and say, can you just do this for me now?
Or I just need you to do this, but you’ve never had the communication or conversations.
You’ve never had the discussion about your expectations of them or what you really need from them.
So the second tip is about communication.
It’s about setting expectations, and it’s about giving notice.
So we allow them the time to process what it is that they may need to do.
You’ll find there will be things that they need to do that they have maybe never done before because you have been able to do them.
Tip 3 – Get your Partner to do the Heavy Lifting in Pregnancy and Motherhood
The third tip I wanted to share is when the time comes, especially in pregnancy, and after baby is born, ask your partner to support you with the heavy lifting.
If you can’t do heavy lifting anymore, then that can become their responsibility.
And so assigning responsibilities is key.
If it means that they have to shop on a Saturday morning, well, then that’s what it has to be because it’s important that you look after your own safety.
You cannot be lifting.
You cannot be lifting kids into the car.
You cannot be lifting prams.
You cannot be lifting toddlers.
At a particular point in pregnancy, it becomes unsafe to lift heavy objects.
You MUST rely on others to help you in these areas.
So if your partner can’t go shopping during the week, well, then it’s a Saturday morning shop.
You have to be flexible in your approach to make sure that your health and your safety is priority in pregnancy.
Also, it might be just as simple as them cooking you a meal or giving you a massage or saying go and have a nap.
Again communication is key and set the expectations upfront so your partner understands when you may require more support.
Tip 4 – Your Partner is the Keeper of your Birth Plan
Tip number four is a tip around birth.
Your partner has a very important role in your birth.
He is the keeper of your birth plan.
I feel one of the most important things in birth is for your partner to be totally aware of your birth wishes and birth plan.
Your birth plan is purely writing down what you wish your birth to be, and your partner is the keeper of that birth plan.
It is their role and responsibility to make sure that what you want in your birth is protected.
It is their responsibility to look after you and be your biggest advocate.
However, if we don’t communicate this to our partner upfront, they don’t know what their role is, what it entails and how they can support you.
This makes it very difficult for your partner to be your birth advocate.
Communication is key here, and we need to work together as a team to achieve the birth that we desire.
Tip 5 – Get your Partner to Lighten the Load in Motherhood
The last tip I have for you is a postpartum tip.
How can your partner lighten the load for you?
When we have had the baby life changes, we get less sleep, we are run down, we’re tired, we’re fatigued.
We can be grumpy.
We are trying to breastfeed.
We are learning all these new things.
The baby cries and sometimes we don’t quite know why.
Our partner has the ability to support us and lighten the load for us and again, as part of the planning process, you need to have the conversations, set the expectations and communicate around what this might look like.
If they can change some nappies, or look after the other kids (if you have them), or even burp your child after you finish feeding, maybe they might set up the pillows for you so you’re in a comfortable position.
All the little things make a huge difference.
They could bring you some food or water while you’re feeding the baby.
It can be so simple, yet makes such a difference in our postpartum experience.
Being supported, feeling heard, feeling loved, especially when you’re sleep deprived and tired and overwhelmed is so important.
Just experiencing all of this with someone by your side is just as important.
The emotional aspects of postpartum are huge and can be very detrimental to our health as a mum if not nurtured and supported.
To be supported by your partner is key!
There will be moments when they too struggle and are fatigued.
But if you both can work as a team and help each other, it becomes that unified effort.
In order to give your postpartum experience the best possible chance of success, the role of the partner come postpartum is extremely, important, and this is why, at the beginning, in tip one I heavily expressed the importance of a postpartum plan.
Recap on the Role of the Partner from Pregnancy to Motherhood
So those are the five tips just to recap on the Role of the Partner from Pregnancy to Motherhood:
Tip number one: is make sure you have a plan for pregnancy, birth and postpartum and make sure that you include your partner in that planning process.
Tip number two: is make sure you set the expectations of what you may require from them early so they can get their head around what it might be that they need to do. Familiarise them with ways they can help in the different parts of your pregnancy to motherhood.
Tip number three: is give your partner responsibilities. You’re working as a team, and you will require the help in pregnancy and motherhood.
Make sure they’re supporting with the heavy lifting.
Make sure they are reducing the load for you in the ways that you have discussed and worked out in the planning process.
Tip number four: make sure your partner is the keeper of your birth plan. They are your advocate.
They are to protect your wishes and to care and look after you in the birth process.
Tip number five: is make sure in postpartum your partner is fully aware of how they can support you, so you’re not constantly asking for support.
The postpartum plan should have identified areas of how they can support you and things they can do to lighten the load.
Changing nappies, looking after the other children, burping baby are all things they can support with.
So hopefully this topic on the Role of the Partner from Pregnancy to Motherhood has been helpful.
The role of the partner in pregnancy to motherhood can be an interesting conversation, but the biggest thing to remember is good communication, good planning, good preparation and set those expectations that you both need to be on the same page to achieve a successful outcome.
If you are wanting to work with every aspect of this and would like to access our checklist with more tips please grab our free download here:
If you would like to hear me talk about this topic you can watch my video here:
I hope you have found this information useful and it helps with your planning and upfront conversations for you and your partner.
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We support women in every part of their pregnancy to motherhood journey and the information we share is based on experience and what was valuable to us when we went through these transitions of life. This group has been created to bring like-minded mums together to learn more on pregnancy and motherhood in a safe place. This group is designed to create awareness and educate on all things pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood.
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